Cameron's Claw Hammer gang must be recruiting them younger and younger.
I came back to base at 19:45 tonight just as a kid of about twelve came up my drive to hand me an election leaflet for the Tory Candidate at Newport East, Dawn Parry.
Dawn is a woman of extraordinary faith in herself given the fact she is going to come fourth behind Keith Jones (BNP) Ed Townsend (Illiberal Undemocrats) and Jessica Morgan (The B.I.G.O.T. - sorry have you not heard that stands for Brown Is Going On Thursday - party) in two days time.
But her leafleteers were Pure U.A.F. Claw Hammer Fodder.
As this kid of twelve goes to hand me one of Dawn's leaflets I tell him no thanks, and then his elder brother charges up, pushes in front, thrusts one of the leaflets in my direction and says "I would have thought you'd want one you BNP Fascist Nazi Scum"
Why a BNP member would want a leaflet from Dawn Parry I don't know. It's not as if they want to control immigration is it.
So I tell this oik to get off my driveway before I wash his mouth out and he - in typical stance for a UAF thug - runs off yelling it's me who needs my mouth washed out you Nazi Racist Scum.
So when this oik rants the same back at me from the other end of the street in front of my daughter I decide enough is enough. On to the police to report a hate crime.
I called Dawn Parry on the mobile number she printed on a leaflet she sent my daughter, a first time voter, to ask if she thought I was Racist Nazi Scum and whether she was happy with her canvassers calling me that.
She denied any of her canvassers would say that.
So I asked if she would like to talk to my daughter, a first time voter, who heard her canvasser say it. And I handed the phone to Jennifer while I took this picture of the car the oik got into to be driven away - by his mum I think.
So Jennifer explains to Dawn that she doesn't really hold with everything the party stands for but she is not at all happy at her dad being abused like this. Meanwhile I'm on the phone to report this as a hate crime.
In the meanwhile Dawn Parry tells my daughter she really hasn't got time to bother with this.
And so a short time later - and actually about the time it would take an officer to get here from HQ if they REALLY put their foot down - a very nice policewoman turns up to take the particulars.
Yes she agrees it's a hate crime. Yes she is going to pay the owner of this vehicle a visit. And yes if they deny carrying out this act we will pull the CCTV recording from my infrared cameras and see them try to talk and walk their way out of a criminal conviction in the face of the evidence.
And when I get the crime number I'll be writing to the Electoral Commission to point out that Dawn Parry is in breach of the (admittedly voluntary) code of practice South Wales Police asked all candidates to sign up to in terms of decorum and adherence to the law on public order and postal balloting.
But in conclusion, Diddy Dave if you are reading this I expected this sort of thing of Peter Hain's stormtroopers after all they have a record for ignoring the law doing as they please getting arrested for conspiracy to promote violent disorder and apologising for terrorists.
But i expected better of the Conservative Party. How nice then to have evidence that they are just as big a bunch of thugs.
Oh yes one last thing. IF THAT IS YOUR NEIGHBOURS CAR LEAVE THEM ALONE THEY ARE IN ENOUGH TROUBLE AS IT IS.
I IDENTIFY THEM HERE MERELY TO LET THEM KNOW WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
I DEMAND THAT YOU LET THE FORCES OF LAW AND ORDER - WHO BY THEIR OATH REMAIN ALWAYS ON THE SIDE OF THOSE WHO OBEY AND ADHERE TO THE LAW - AND IN WHOM I HAVE FULL CONFIDENCE EVEN IF YOU DONT - BE ALLOWED TO DO THEIR JOB THEIR WAY.
IF YOU SEE THIS VEHICLE ON THE STREET DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT GIVE THEM CAUSE TO CONSIDER US ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE LAW ABIDING WOUNDED PARTY.
Thank you for your time.
Oh yes I'll be canvassing for Keith Jones tomorrow. Where's Dawn Parry's constituency campaign base