Letter from Kabul.

A formal request has been received by her Majesties Government from the Al Qaeda network in the Yemen for permission to move their headquarters from North Yemen to a recently disbanded 800 year old Anglican church in Walthamstow.

Their application has received the full backing and support of the Somalia’s Al-Shabab, the Muslim Brotherhood and Indonesia’s Jemaah Islamiya terror group.

Reasons given for this urgent request are as a result of blatant, ongoing infringement of human rights violations caused by American drones continually overflying and bombing Al Qaeda training camps and generally harassing and making life an abject misery for their operatives and thus interfering with the continuity of their training. The application was forwarded to London via the ECHR at The Hague. The UNCHR has also expressed disquiet at the relentless bombing of these training camps by the Americans which have also resulted in the deaths of a couple of innocent civilians.

Initially the application has appeared to have been met with warm approval from HM. Government however before a decision can be finalised advice is being sought from senior representatives of the various Moslem extremist groups based within the UK for their input.

It was pointed out if the application were to be successful there will be a twofold advantage of this relocation in that it would enable Al Qaeda to be closer to their fund raising offices, which have always been traditionally based in Central London, and secondly the move would mean it would be far more cost effective to recruit potential terrorists already residing in the UK rather than to fly them out to the Yemen and Pakistan for initial interviews, which has been the normal procedure in the past, only to find they do not meet the necessary criteria.

A senior human rights lawyer from the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) at The Hague pointed out a precedent had already been set by the recognition by Her Majesties Government of the terrorist organization Hizb ut-Tahrir group which in contrast has been proscribed as a terrorist group in the USA.

Both France and the USA are concerned that London boasts the envious reputation of the world's premier money-laundry for terrorism. A home office spokesperson confided to our reporter that “Al Qaeda’s request to relocate to the UK, whilst at first glance a move that might sound somewhat controversial even provocative, it does makes a lot of sense and could create a great deal of financial benefit for Great Britain’s Sharia Islamic banks”

The Muslim Council of Britain and other organisations and individuals who support Islamic extremism and who are currently being wooed by Whitehall said they would be delighted with the relocation of Al Qaeda to Great Britain.

Meanwhile President Hussein Obama has promised another surge of 200,000 American troops to Afghanistan to help protect the valuable heroin crop, a financial source that helps fund the war and to maintain the rich lifestyle of the ruling elite in Afghanistan but more importantly to protect the proposed Trans Afghanistan Pipeline (TAPI) from Turkmenistan to India pre-empting any problems that will arise with the severe shortage of oil in the near future, a race that both the West and oil hungry China have huge stakes in pursuing at all costs……

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